Guest Post: CPT Chris Myers in Afghanistan

A number of months ago I posted an email by a friend of mine, CPT Chris Myers. CPT Myers is finishing up his deployment in Afghanistan. He has a gift for prose and real talent at humor through sarcasm. I love reading his emails and enjoy sharing them here. This is his most recent email as he prepares for redeployment.

Dispatches from the Front Lines: 21 February 2010 - By CPT Chris Myers

21 February 2010
Kabul, Afghanistan

Salaam from Camp Phoenix, Afghanistan, where I find myself once again, gradually coming full circle enroute to redeployment at Fort Stewart, Georgia and, eventually, back home to San Francisco. In a way, it's hard to believe that I first arrived here in June, but lo and behold I've been in Afghanistan eight months now and you know what that means--time for Jay Leno to force me out of my job. Not much has changed here since I relocated to Camp Alamo back in August. Things are a little calmer, that's for sure, and there are fewer extraneous people lurking around--at least until the 48th Brigade's replacement unit arrives here in full force. Still, with nothing official to do until I board the plane out of country (any day now!), I once again find myself in the position of being a deployed soldier without a job to do. I am currently sitting in front of a computer, surfing the web and writing long-winded e-mails; proof that, even in the direst of circumstances, if you give an American Studies major enough time, he will eventually find a way to get paid for doing nothing.


>> Memories Can't Wait
With this experience preparing to fade into the rearview mirror, I suppose now is as good a time as any to look back on the past few months of life during wartime and fill you in on some of the details before they get lost in the blur of my impending post-traumatic stress disorder. Happily, I encountered very little of what one would consider dangerous, exciting or dramatic in terms of serving in an overseas warzone. Good for the mind, body and soul, I suppose, but it will leave me severely wanting when it comes to ripping-off a good wartime yarn. So if you ever hear me start rambling-on about the time "me and the platoon took the hill amid a flurry of dust, gunsmoke and bullets," you can be pretty sure that I'm snowing someone in hopes of either getting a free drink or getting laid. Possibly both. And since I'll be looking forward to those two things upon my return home, you can expect that hill-taking story to be a doozy.

In reality, though, my job (and I did, eventually, get a real one) may not have been the most dangerous, glamorous or exciting, but it was, by turn, both challenging and frustrating--and in the end, hopefully productive. Explaining this should probably involve alcohol, so for those of you who still need the prompt to drink while reading these e-mails, go ahead and pour yourself something now. The rest of you can use this opportunity to freshen-up your beverage and brace yourself for the next few paragraphs, which you will likely find ponderous, mundane and occasionally frustrating, but that I will try my best to enliven and infuse with interest and excitement. It will not be unlike this past season of Notre Dame football, so those of you who were able to endure that fiasco should have no problem getting through this, and because of such experience, you likely haven't stopped drinking since, oh, the fourth quarter of the Michigan game.


>> Road to Nowhere
As mentioned, I left Camp Phoenix in August, when it was eventually agreed upon by the Powers That Be that my role as an IRR recall would best be filled by occupying a job that actually existed, as opposed to one that they continually hoped would come into being. The politics of this are tedious and it involved a lot of high-ranking officers pleading their cases as to why there should or should not be a separate 48th Brigade staff in addition to the larger Joint Task Force Phoenix staff that was already in place. For my first two months in country, I was the de facto 48th Brigade Staff S6 (communications officer), but our Brigade Staff had not been approved as a separate entity, so literally, it was a non-existent job as far as most people around here were concerned. It was kind of like asking someone how they make a living and they reply, "I'm a blogger." I got the smile, a little laugh and a head-nod, followed by, "No, really, what do you do?"

I will say, however, that working at a non-existent job was a unique experience. Daily, I would report to the 48th Brigade's makeshift office, where the Brigade staff--all of whom also occupied not-officially-recognized jobs--huddled about and did things in the anticipation that, one day, Someone of Importance would see the error of their ways and officially bless-off on not only our existence, but dammit, our necessity, too. The novelty of this wore-off quickly, though, when it became apparent that inevitably we would all get farmed-out to other sections, locations and existing positions that needed our services, and no one really had much respect for the fact that we were trying to create our own little universe. As the weeks dragged on, there was palpable disdain between the hoity-toity Task Force Phoenix staffers and the annoying little revolutionaries of the wannabe 48th Brigade Staff. That's over-dramatizing a bit, but people actually got into heated arguments and fights over this--and these were people serving together on the same base in the same goddamn unit.


>> I Wish You Wouldn't Say That
The tedium of it all reached its zenith during a particularly sweltering August morning. Some of us on the fake-Brigade-staff were asked to attend a meeting to discuss long-term plans for the unit that would replace us in the spring (yes, planning actually starts that early). This was going to be a long, laborious meeting of vague ideas and unspecific plans--the kind of meeting that you don't have to be at but you're asked to go to anyways. There were about 30 of us crammed into a makeshift conference room of a wooden hut. One air conditioner did its best to cool the room, but everyone was drinking coffee (it started at 8:00 am) and within five minutes of "Let's get started now...," we were all beading with sweat. The affair kicked-off as virtually every military meeting is wont to do--with a parade of ponderous PowerPoint slides, apparently built with the hopes of conveying simple information in the most complicated way possible. The soldier giving the presentation clearly spent weeks preparing it--little arrows would slide in and out on pertinent text, and different parts of maps bulged into hyperfocus on his well-rehearsed mouse clicks--and when the final slide blessedly dissolved into view ("Questions?" in 48-point Helvetica, with a spinning question mark behind it), ninety minutes had passed and everyone looked ready to die.

I'm pretty sure he was talking about geography and different areas of operation that the incoming unit would be occupying. At least that's what he started out discussing. By the eighth slide (Header: "Geographical Concerns: Discussion") I began molding my oversized Styrofoam coffee cup into a square at the brim. Over the course of the impending geographic discussion, I found that, with careful handiwork, you can actually change an entire, circular Styrofoam coffee cup into a four-sided square without cracking the sides at all. You have to be patient, but if you are ever stuck in a five-hour meeting that does not require your participation, that is one way to pass the time. For general-use purposes, here are some other activities that can fill five hours of the day:

- Reenact "The Godfather" epic in your head. You can get to the scene in "Part II" where Moe Greene dresses-down Fredo in the Vegas hotel.

- Run a marathon in your mind. You'll even have time to warm-up and cool-down, and if you've done the San Diego Rock N' Roll Marathon, every nine minutes you can envision passing a U2 cover band playing "Vertigo" or "Mysterious Ways."

- Reimagine the classics. I got through the first half of "Alice in Wonderland" pretty straightforward, but at the mad tea party, I substituted the March Hare and Dormouse with Howard Roark and Lady Macbeth.

- As best you can remember, retake the Myers-Briggs Career Survey in your head, and then imagine yourself doing the most bizarre job that the results spit-out. Your imaginary life manually fertilizing livestock will have the hours flying by.

Alas, in the sweltering conference room hot-box, the hours did not fly by. Only about eight people at the meeting talked, and when they did, they tended not to stop until they were interrupted by someone else, who would then drone on and on until interrupted. By 11:00 (hour three by the clock, or the scene where young Vito sings to himself at Ellis Island before the dissolve to Anthony's First Communion), a look around the room indicated that everyone's soul had been summarily destroyed during the course of the proceedings. It was only now that things got somewhat interesting--enough to rouse everyone out of their stupor.

At one point during the fourth hour, frustrated by the lack of progress on anything, the Brigade S3 officer (another IRR recall tending-to a non-existent job) got annoyed at the continued discussion of brick-and-mortar building projects. He interrupted the guy who was talking and stated, "Oh, the hell with it. Sometimes I think the engineers are on the moon." Judging by the shared laughter, this was the most amusing thing said all morning, and it surprised me that so many people were actually paying attention to hear it. To me, though, it was a rather poetic image. "The engineers on the moon." Kind of sci-fi-mysterious, like the title of a Brian Eno album. Anyways, it stopped me from molding my coffee cup for a moment and I pictured little men with slide rules, bounding up and down in spacesuits on the cool, lunar surface.

The other remark was by far the best thing I've heard during the entire deployment, and the fact it was uttered publicly, amongst superior officers and in mixed company, illustrates the end result of a five-hour meeting where nothing gets accomplished. The Joint Task Force Phoenix S6 officer (the S6 job that actually existed) did not mask the fact he was annoyed at having to sit through four hours and thirty minutes of bullshit to eventually give his presentation, nor was he particularly pleased at the plans that the previous speakers had presented. In a rushed summary of his talking points, he said that all the plans had problems, pretty much none of them would work and "the whole thing is an abortion on rye bread."

THAT remark got everyone's attention, and an audible group gasp led to a rare moment of silence. The lone female soldier in the room looked physically ill after hearing it, and the rest of us had our mouths partially agape, as our brains still processed the words "on rye bread." Within ten minutes, the meeting was over. It was as if a tacit, collective agreement had been reached that nothing of any sense or value could possibly be discussed in the wake of that comment. As we peeled out of the room, the Brigade S1 officer (another IRR guy, another non-existent job) turned to me, exasperated but smiling, and said, "That comment made the entire meeting worthwhile." I'm not sure about that, but it did pretty much sum up my two months here at Camp Phoenix.


>> Found a Job
Eventually, news of my daily routine of reporting, Bartleby-like, to a job that wasn't there finally made its way to the Camp Phoenix headquarters, and the general in charge wisely decided to end this charade by relocating me to nearby Camp Alamo--a base that was about to lose its (real, existing) S6 officer to redeployment. After a few terse e-mails between full-bird colonels, the deal was done and I reported in mid-August to quaint Camp Alamo, home of the Kabul Military Training Center (KMTC) Mentor Group.

As you've seen from the pictures (they're on Facebook; e-mail me if you can't access them), Camp Alamo is a pretty small base here in Kabul, and when I arrived, only about 120 people called it their home. My S6 position there was a two-fold responsibility: As communications officer, I was ultimately responsible for all the communications assets on the base--computers, phones, radios and satellites. If you needed any proof that they don't ask for your resume when you're in the Army, my appointment to this position should provide ample evidence. Fortunately for me (and, for that matter, the residents of Camp Alamo who needed their communications equipment to work), the S6 office was also occupied by six civilian contractors who--let's be frank here--made an American Studies major look like he knew what he was doing with computers, phones, radios and satellites. The fact that they were civilians meant that I did not have to bother with all the military rank and mumbo jumbo and we more or less ran the S6 shop like a civilian IT office--right down to the morning coffee, tacky holiday decorations and occasional office party with Triscuits and summer sausage. Rounding-out our crew was Master Sergeant (MSG) Fred Castro, the only other military member of our S6 staff. With over 25 years experience in the Army, MSG Castro was another guy who made my job immensely easier and often provided sage military advice, such as, "Sir, I don't think the commander would approve of you having your Czechoslovakian bride sent here." Seriously, it is because of this staff that progress was made, work got done, and I will not spend the rest of my nights waking up at three in the morning in a cold sweat. Be it fate, karma, blessings or dumb luck, I was fortunate to spend the majority of this deployment in the company of these seven people; I honestly can't thank them enough for getting me through the year.

Staying on this aspect of the job for just another moment, you may ask what, exactly, the day-to-day work was for us. In a nutshell, it was pretty much what any office IT staff would deal with--creating e-mail accounts, mapping printers, installing software and generally having people come up to you asking "Why doesn't my computer work?" My role in this often ended-up being the first line of defense. When someone had a commo issue, I would immediately address it by examining the piece of problematic equipment, turning it off and then turning it back on. This line of troubleshooting, I found, had about a 60% success rate, and it truly is one of the only things that will stick with me as far as computer-savvy techno fixes go. When this failed, things were handed-off to the civilian contractors, who would type something into their computers, make a phone call to someone else and then--often just five minutes later--the dilemma would be remedied. I'm not sure of the specifics here, but usually the phone call involved the phrase "reset their account," which I think is system administrator code for "You won't believe what this stupid motherfucker did..."


>> The Democratic Circus
The other facet of being Camp Alamo S6 was assuming the role of mentoring my counterpart at the Kabul Military Training Center (KMTC). The Afghan National Army (ANA) S6, Lieutenant Colonel Jamil, was the communications officer in charge of the facility where over 100,000 Afghan soldiers are currently being trained. In many ways, this was the more important aspect of the job. After all, Camp Alamo is home to the KMTC Mentor Group--meaning that pretty much everyone there was acting as some sort of mentor to the Afghan Army. MSG Castro was mentor to the ANA S6 non-commissioned officer in charge (NCOIC); our commander at Camp Alamo, Colonel Quinn, mentored the Afghan commander of KMTC; the British troops ran the ANA's non-commissioned officer training team; the French contingent ran the ANA's officer academy; etc., etc. Whatever position you held at Alamo, you basically acted as mentor for your ANA counterpart across the street (which is where KMTC was in relation to our base).

This was, by far, the most intriguing part of the job (no similar responsibility was held by the Joint Task Force staff at Camp Phoenix, or the 48th Brigade Staff there, which, eventually, was recognized as its own separate entity, albeit after I was long gone). It was also the most frustrating, since the Afghan National Army...well...has their own way of doing things. That's not a bad thing, necessarily--after all, any military organization that can operate without the need to put every piece of information on a PowerPoint slide is doing something right--but nothing, it seems, in the Afghan Army moves particularly fast, gets done particularly quickly, or goes quite how you (or they) think it will.

If you step back and think about it for a moment, that makes sense. After all, establishing and running a facility that trains over 100,000 soldiers of a newly-developing army...just the logistics of it all is awesome to comprehend. Feeding them, clothing them, housing them, equiping them, training them--add to the fact that most of the trainees (over 75% by most calculations) are practically illiterate, and you can see some of the issues. Add to that the fact that most of the senior officers on staff (including my mentee, LTC Jamil) were brought up under the Russian Army, whose old-school ways of doing things conflict with modern, NATO/coalition sensibilities (one striking obstacle is that the officers pretty much don't trust the enlisted soldiers to do anything right) and there are more issues. Add to that the fact that the Afghan infrastructure is so weak, most of the supplies they get are through American or coalition contracts (rerouted through local contractors, when possible, but most of the big-ticket items of necessity are being paid for by your tax dollars) and there are even more issues. And on top of it all, there's corruption, nepotism, favoritism...frankly, if it wasn't for all the mountains and sand surrounding us, one might well confuse KMTC with Washington D.C.

There are many examples of the frustration involved with getting things done around here, and in summarizing this I'll invoke the Tale of the Light Bulb. A light bulb burned-out in an overhead projector for one of the KMTC classrooms. Such light bulbs are specifically tailored for that equipment and cannot often be found outside of office supply stores or industrial catalogs (because of this, they are rather expensive items). In America, you'd just take the company credit card, go to Office Depot, buy a bulb and be done with the matter. In Afghanistan, however, there are no Office Depots (but there are plenty of Targets! Rimshot!) and you can't just go online and order the bulb for them because "ANA problems require ANA solutions." So you do it their way:

You start this Kafkaesque process by submitting a supply request to the ANA Misistry of Defense. If they have the equipment, they will (usually) give it to you, but, alas, the light bulb was a piece of equipment that they did not have. So--theoretically--the Ministry of Defense clerk marks down that this is a piece of equipment they will need to eventually supply and--theoretically--eventually they will. But they didn't have it at the moment, so you then wait a few days and resubmit the same supply request to the Ministry of Defense, in hopes that:
a. the equipment is now in stock,
b. the equipment was in stock before but the clerk at MoD didn't realize it at the time,
c. the equipment was in stock before but the clerk at MoD was looking for a bribe or favor,
or--as was usually the case--
d. the item still isn't there.
Eventually, after doing this Kabuki dance a few times, you turn-in all the denied MoD request forms to the American supply officer (the S4 officer), who would then see that an "ANA solution" wasn't in place yet, and--for the time being--the problem would require an American solution. So you do it our way:

Back at square one, you can attempt to get Army money and try to purchase the item on the local economy if:
a. the item is approved for local purchase by the Army and,
b. you and a fellow soldier go through training on how to purchase items on the local economy and,
c. you acquire three competitive prices from local vendors for said piece of equipment and,
d. you fill-out 15-pages of paperwork to sign-for and purchase the item through the most-trustworthy and least-expensive local Afghan merchant.
Despite meeting these above requirements, no local vendors seemed to have access to the necessary light bulb in a timely manner. Eventually, it was reasoned that the U.S. Army S4 officer could set-up a long-term contract to supply KMTC with overhead projector light bulbs until the Afghan Ministry of Defense could supply their own, but that request would have to go through its own process of vetting, bidding and approval and could take weeks or, more likely, months if it ever received final approval. Sooo...in the end, we did it neither The Afghan Army Way, nor The American Army Way, but The Old Fashioned Way: We ultimately just found a spare overhead projector bulb in a supply closet and gave it to the ANA.

And that's how you get a light bulb in the Afghan National Army.

Sigh. In a nutshell, that illustrates the frustrating parts of the mentoring job. So much you wanted to fix, to help, to improve...but hopes and reality rarely play well together out here and you quickly realized that if you were indeed going to allow ANA problems to be solved with ANA solutions, the first supply you needed was patience. So after some expectation-adjusting, we--the ANA S6 mentors and mentees--focused on the things we could impact in the short-term and set realistic goals for progress during our time here.

And, despite the frustration, some progress was made. For starters, we got the ANA S6 officers and enlisted soldiers to start talking, meeting together and planning their training events on a weekly basis. The fact they had not done this in the past illustrates the expectation-adjusting necessity; you take it for granted that people within the same office would talk about and plan what they are doing on a regular basis. Prior to my arrival at KMTC, I was told that a meeting between the ANA S6 officers and soldiers ended when one of the ANA S6 majors got so upset at the NCOIC, he threw a remote control at his head from across the room. The fact that none of our regular weekly meetings featured launched projectiles or head trauma was seen as a sign of progress.

Likewise, we were able to see some significant "Good Idea Fairy" projects through to their conclusions. These were complex, highly-involved undertakings for the ANA that previous mentors had started, apparently not realizing they were working in Afghanistan with the ANA, and believing instead that these projects were taking root in The Land of Oz, where workers would toil in round-the-clock efficiency and Glinda the Good Witch would wave her magic wand and, Poof!, everything would come together in a matter of weeks. Not so much, it turns out, as one particular effort--the notorious KMTC Phone Center, started in the Spring of 2008--is now being inherited by its fourth U.S. Army S6 mentor, with the sincere hopes that he can bring this damned Bridge to Nowhere across the finish line.


>> Television Man
Still, the mentoring thing was a good gig. I got to work directly with the Afghan Army and, hopefully, put some ideas in place, some things in motion, that will eventually lead to their improvement, prosperity and--eventually--independence, which is the ultimate goal of the KMTC Mentor Group. Our "Mission Accomplished" moment will come when all the ANA's problems can be solved with ANA solutions and coalition mentors are no longer needed to provide outside counsel, guidance, supplies and advice. Perhaps it is a somewhat Quixotic notion that my presence here made any lasting impact, but being involved at this level was more rewarding than, say, sitting behind an office computer for twelve-hours a day, seven days a week. And for all the frustrations we endured, the interaction with the Afghans was, in truth, a lot of fun. We'd meet almost every morning (except Fridays, which is their Holy Day), and after tending to whatever business matters were at hand,
we'd sit in LTC Jamil's office and shoot the breeze over hot chai--me, MSG Castro, a few of the civilian contractors who also helped mentor, LTC Jamil and our interpreters. We'd talk with mutual interest about the cultural difference between Afghans and Americans; about dating and marriage (apparently Afghan weddings are ridiculous--they invite over 500 people and the event takes three days), work habits, schools, news, politics and television.

Television was often the source of conversation, as LTC Jamil had a small TV set in his office and it was almost always on. (Suggesting he turn it off during our weekly S6 section meetings was seen as yet another bold step in progressing the Afghan Army toward independent status). There are a handful of Afghan TV stations now and, according to my interpreter, each of them has its own political ideaology (sound familiar?). Since many of the Afghan TV networks are nacent endeavors, most of the daily progamming is filled with music videos--usually clips of Bollywood musicals or Pakistani Top-40 songs. MTV hasn't yet cracked the Afghan market, so the videos are often innocently naive in their production values--you half expect Toni Basil to shimmy across the screen in pigtails. Tinges of Western culture abound, though, none more evident than the weekly airing of "Afghan Idol," as well as Dari-dubbed versions of "24" (which is huge out here) and "WWE
Smackdown" (John Cena is a particular favorite of ANA soldiers).

I, personally, got hooked on a daytime serial that always aired during our morning visits to LTC Jamil's office; a show that he regularly followed the storyline of (he would often zone-out during conversations whenever his program came on, prompting the "TV off during meetings" mandate). Uncreatively-titled "Mother in Law, Daughter in Law" ("It means that the mother-in-law was once the daughter-in-law," as my interpreter explained to me), the show was a half-hour Indian soap opera, dubbed in Dari, that featured the usual plot elements of familial secrets, lies, affairs and courtroom cliffhangers. I didn't understand a word of it, but you didn't really have to in figuring-out what was going on and, anyway, the show featured a thunder-and-lightning sound effect every time something supposedly dramatic was happening. This got your attention the first few times it occured, but the novelty wore off after the producers employed this device dozens of times during the broadcast, often to fill in lulls when nothing substantial seemed to be happening at all. I will say, however, that I'l never forget the scene when, during a bizarre masquerade ball where everyone was dressed in elaborate costumes, the bad guy climbed to the roof of a nearby building and shot someone at the downstairs party with a crossbow. If they had done more shit like that on "Guiding Light" that show would still be on the air.

And speaking of soap operas, that's an appropriate analogy for the weekly KMTC staff meeting of ANA officers and their mentors. Every Tuesday morning, we'd cram into the KMTC conference room to hear the ANA staff discuss their current projects, progress and--quite frequently--how the fact that everything took so damn long was invariably the fault of the American mentors. Occasionally informative, the meeting was more often than not accidentally entertaining, as the senior Afghan officers are an old, weathered lot. Not that a meeting of U.S. Army officers is any GQ fashion shoot, but the ANA officers have the look of perpetually-hemmoroidal, middle-aged men who were trained by the old Russian Army and have suffered through decades of war. Sitting around their conference table, they look like a chapter of the Del Boca Vista Elks Club waiting to down a fistful of Doan's Pills and a few boilermakers.

Highlighting this weekly congress was the KMTC commanding general's end-of-meeting comments. Often, he would focus on important matters of immediate concern, but he was just as likely to go off on some stream-of-consciousness rant that no one could anticipate. At one meeting, he animatedly berated the ANA supply officer for a good fifteen minutes. I asked my interpreter what the problem was and it turned out the general was upset because word had gotten to him that the Afghan soldiers-in-training were not getting enough cake with their lunches. "I will not stand for this! They must all get an equal piece of cake with their lunch!" I'm not making that up. Another meeting featured the general going-off on a 20-minute diatribe that "All grapes given to soldiers should be ripe! You must inspect the grapes!" You kind of looked forward to the end of the meeting just to see what trivial, inane thing he might pontificate about that week (you also looked forward to the end of the meeting because being enclosed in an unventilated conference room with three-dozen Afghans for an hour really does a number on your olfactory nerves).


>> The Big Country
Anyways, somewhere between expanding the size and independence of the Afghan National Army and giving them enough baked goods and fresh produce lies The Road Ahead. Given the difficulties in making headway within our little piece of the Afghan puzzle, it will be a rocky road, especially considering the pressure to obtain rapid results amidst the general instability that permeates all corners of this country's government and military. In an attempt to curb rising attrition rates within the Afghan Army, the Afghans devised the solution to announce that, if you went AWOL from KMTC, you could come back and, not only would you be welcome back to your old job without punishment, you would be automatically promoted as well. So basically, you can quit your job, come back a week later, and get a promotion and a raise to boot (An ANA solution to an ANA problem if ever there was one). Ah yes, had the U.S. Army adopted that brilliant re-recruiting pitch, I'd be a major now.

The feelings here seem to be mixed for long-term success. This past fall, in the wake of the corrupted Afghan elections and President Obama's decision to send additional troops, my interpreter told me that "People here are hopeless. We have seen war for years; people come and people go, but nothing ever changes." Without hesitation, a second interpreter walking with us said that wasn't entirely true, and a lot of people--himself included--saw signs of progress. "It is easy to destroy something," he remarked, "but it takes time to build it back up. Things have gotten better over the last few years. It will take time, but we are not hopeless."

I should note that the latter interpreter is currently applying for an American Visa, in hopes that he and his wife can move to the U.S. and raise a family "where our kids can go to school and be safe." He has worked as a ANA-coalition interpreter for over seven years now, a job that--if certain people discovered what he did--he could be killed for doing. Hopeless, no, but practical, yes. As Iris Crowe told Tommy Dolan, "Pray to God, but row for shore."


>> This Must be the Place
Only time will tell what the long-term results of our involvement in Afghanistan will be. There are far too many mercurial political and cultural considerations to debate, and for that, a drink in my hand will indeed be necessary. Since that option is not available to me at the moment, you'll have to wait until I get back for further discussion on that topic. But that won't be long now. From here, there are only one or two stops to Georgia, and after a few days of outprocessing, I'll be home free to San Francisco, where there better be a double Manhattan on the rocks and a doobie the size of a Cadillac waiting for me.

As I mentioned, all things considered, there's been nothing traumatic that has happened to me during this deployment; I won't be arriving home with any gnarly war wounds or psychic emotional scars, so hopefully my transition from Army of One to Civilian Slacker will be a relatively smooth affair. Still, I will have about a week of outprocessing to go through at Fort Stewart, and if it is anything like the inprocessing at Fort Benning, then there's still time for some psychic scarring after all. And I can honestly say that, surprisingly, the most dangerous part of my travels will not be--as expect--riding in a miltary convoy through the streets of Afghanistan, but instead riding home from San Francisco International in my sister's Prius Deathmobile.

Provided I survive that, I look forward to seeing, or at least talking with, all of you. Typing "Thank You" again in another e-mail doesn't begin to do justice to the gratitude I owe you all for writing, e-mailing, keeping in touch, shipping care packages or just sending good vibes. Ditto for the incredible people I've met and worked with along the way, from the fellow IRRians (who are also--at nearly 400 days--trickling back to civilian slackerhood as well), to the soldiers and contractors at Camp Alamo, to the ANA soldiers at KMTC, to the crazy 48th Volunteers here at Phoenix, this deployment can be chalked-up as an overall positive experience thanks to them. Looking forward to staying in touch with many of them upon our safe redeployment home.

To wrap things up, I'll invoke a well-known Bay Area muse in saying what a long, strange trip it's been. Almost to the end of it now, and can't wait to get back home where I can tell those real and occasionally made-up war stories over a Trumer and Rosamunde at Toronado or an Iron City and Roast Beef sandwich at Primani's. On rye bread, of course.

Peace.

--chris

END OF 2009 & BEGINNING OF 2010

OCTOBER - NOVEMBER

The first month back from R&R was one of the toughest in my deployment. Unlike when I first got here, I knew what I was doing. The first month here in May-June was tough, but it was also a blur. I had the fire hose plugged into my mouth and on full blast. The first month back from R&R just crawled. When you’ve got 4, 5, 6 months to go, it seems so far away.

I got back in mid-October and jumped right onto night shift. This is the first time in my entire life I’ve ever worked on night shift. I’ve done 24+ hour ops or been on exercises where we didn’t sleep, but I’ve never been assigned to night shift. I realized quickly it’s a matter of taking my day shift battle rhythm and flipping it upside down. I stayed with the same system. Sleep till right before I go on shift at 1800. Work-out at 2230. Chow at 0000. Return to desk and work till 0600. Go to breakfast. Go back to room, take shower, spend an hour or so of “me” time reading or watching a movie, go to sleep. Do it again. It took me about two weeks to settle back in. I don’t like night shift for the simple reason that there are just not as many people to talk to and not as much going on. It is a lot more laid back because most of the key leaders are sleeping, and you get to watch all the sports in the States real time. That’s nice, but I still don’t like it. I’d rather be in the action.

My 1st roommate left the beginning of November and my new roommate came in about 5 days later. My first roommate, CPT Bill Jennings a lawyer with the JAG Corps, heads back to Atlanta and my new roommate comes in, MAJ Jeff Breloski a lawyer with the JAG Corps, replaces him. Small world. J Jeff stays through the beginning of December.

Finished off October with another 5K on October 31, Halloween. This was my first one since returning and I could tell I’d been off. Gotta get back on track! J This was the first one we’ve done in the evening. It was really fun. I dressed up as hippy, though I didn’t go all out with the bell bottoms and boots. I still wanted to run a good time. As you can see in the picture, I wore a pink afro. My tribute to Breast Cancer Awareness Month. You should have seen how all out some people went. We had the full complement of Super Heroes…Captain America, Wolverine, Spiderman, Thor, etc. There were a whole unit of guys in togas and much more. The most fun run yet!

We also had a pretty cool Fitness Challenge for this quarter. We had to do a full Triathlon in 45 days or less. That means 2.4 miles in the pool, 112 miles on a bike, and 26.2 miles of run. I was able to convince Corey (MAJ Gerving) and Jim (He’s now LTC Schultz. He got promoted at the beginning of the month.) to do it with me. Corey was in Atlanta and he had a tough time. I’m learning it’s tough for the guys in Atlanta, because they spend so much time commuting. (I know what that’s like!) Oh, and I put the challenge out on Facebook and lo and behold Ben Rao jumped in from St. Louis, MO. That was cool. In fact, Ben ended up being my greatest competition. I had two additional challenges while doing this. First, just like with the English Channel Challenge, I was determined to still do my usual weight lifting and just work in the swim, bike, run. Second, I had to go to Qatar to Al Udeid Air Base to help Corey on a mission. I lost a couple of days to travel, but kept going in Qatar. I finished in 20 days. Ben finished in 19 beating me by a day! As his prize, I sent him the t-shirt and then to my pleasant surprise, found out he sent me his t-shirt from a triathlon he’d done in St. Louis. Very Cool!

Back to the trip to Qatar. This was a really cool opportunity for me. Jim and I were given the opportunity for one of us to go now and the other to go to the Space Conference in February by COL Henderson and LTC Zellmann. I took the first trip, because Jim was just coming back from R&R. I went up to Ali Al Saleem Air Base (same place we fly out of to go back and forth to the States) to meet up with Corey. From there, we caught a C-130 to Qatar. Long day, because you sit there all day and have to wait and see if you can get on the flight, but still and adventure. Believe it or not, this was the first time I’d ever flown on a C-130. It was a long uncomfortable flight, but still interesting. We arrived on Sunday and checked in to the transient housing (tents). Al Udeid is an interesting post. It’s a lot more spread out than Camp Arifjan or Ali Al Saleem. They have a bus system, but they also have this really cool unwritten rule where anyone with a government vehicle that has room stops and picks you up. We were there for 5 days and never rode the bus. While accomplishing our mission (mostly classified) and checking out the Air Force’s command facilities (also mostly classified), Corey and I did a comparison between Camp AJ and Al Udeid. Here’s what we came up with.

Al Udeid is better because…..

* Free internet over the whole base
* Pub with 3 beers or cocktails per day
* Large common area with big screen TV and music
* Computer/phone center with free calling and internet
* People pick you up and help you get around the base
* Ladies can wear bikinis at the swimming pool
* Dairy Queen right on the swimming pool
* Better pizza at DFAC

Camp Arifjan is better because…..

* The DFAC is much better overall. Better fruit, better salad bar, Gatorade
* Easier to walk across
* Much nicer work-out facilities with newer equipment
* PX, MWR and work-out facilities more centrally located
* Better surf and turf night
* Quarters walking distance to work
* 5Ks better organized and you get a t-shirt
* Transient quarters are not tents (I bldg)

The return trip was a real treat. Corey had asked Larry (MAJ Kimbrell) back in Kuwait to see

about getting us on a C-12 flight back rather than the C-130. Larry really came through. It turned out that a C-12 was available on Thursday…..the CGs C-12. For those that don’t know what these are (I didn’t know.), these are the small private jets the Army uses. The CGs jet is brand new. The jet was used to fly a COL and team up into and around Iraq. They’d just dropped everyone off and were headed back to Al I Al Saleem. We were essentially hitching a ride. Two majors lounging out in a 3-star general’s private jet. Very nice ride. The flight was 1 ½ hours rather than 3 hours. Thanks Larry!

Outside o f the trip to Qatar. November just crawled by, as I talked about earlier. Like in the first half, I’m trying to take this in bites. I’m thinking just get through Thanksgiving and then just get through Christmas and the New Year. I know that the Holidays is going to be no fun being away from the family, so I figure if I can get through it, it’ll smooth out from there. They folks at the DFAC did a great job with our meal and the decorations. Check out the different pictures. They really do go all out with the sculptures and the cake. Amazing what our cooks do with butter! Pretty good food. Not like home, but pretty good. Angela and the kids went to Bowling Green, KY to be with my family for Thanksgiving. I got to talk to everyone a couple of times. It was nice to talk, but also a painful reminder that I’m not there. I was glad to get through it.






















We had multiple 5Ks in November. The Marine Corps birthday, the National Guards birthday, and a Turkey Trot run on Thanksgiving Day. I’d decided after I missed the Warrant Officer birthday in July that I wouldn’t miss another 5K or fitness challenge. Four 5Ks in a month is kicking my butt! That’s what I get! Definitely getting my behind whipped back into shape after R&R.

DECEMBER

I’ve picked up a new work-out partner. SGT Jeremy Coleman with AMD, the missile defense section that sits right behind us in the COIC, approached me about joining in. I was more than happy to take on another partner. I’ve fallen into a bit of a rut. I go every day. Can’t miss a day, but I wasn’t pushing myself like in the beginning. Having a partner to spot me and push me to do more is a good thing! And…being a social animal, it’s nice to have someone to talk to while working out! SGT Coleman leaves in February, so we’ve got 60 days to get him working in the program.

December came on with more 5Ks. I’m starting to lose track. I’ve got to collect up all my t-shirts to see how many 5Ks and Fitness Challenges I’ve competed in. There was also a 40 and over basketball tournament called “It’s Cool to Be Old School” Tourney. This one rather than officiating, I got to play in. I turned my name in as an extra and got picked up. There were only 4 teams, but surprise, surprise if we didn’t win the thing! We won a game, lost a game and then

had to come out of the loser’s bracket. We did it winning two games against the team that had previously beaten us. It was really funny. We all came out getting after it in the 1st game of the finals. We were down at the half, but went on a run in the second half. We ended up winning by about 10 and the score was in the 50s. The second game of back to back, not so much energy. You can see in the picture what the final score was. We were lucky to get into the 30s. There were a lot of guys sore. It sucks getting old!

I got right back into refereeing in November and December. MWR does not hesitate to start one sport right after the other. We picked up in flag football and had a couple of tournaments I worked in. There was a basketball tournament Thanksgiving week and a 1 pitch softball tournament Christmas week. I was originally surprised to see such a robust intramural program when I got here. I’m used to this at posts in the States, but didn’t expect it here in the war zone. What I’ve learned is that most all of us with USARCENT are on TCS (temporary change of station) or TDY (travel) orders, the support folks that run the post are mostly on PCS (permanent change of station) orders and the civilians come here for 1-3 year tours many times with their families. Those of us with ARCENT fight just like the folks in Iraq and Afghanistan with many traveling back and forth among the different war zones doing our jobs, but the folks here running the place are just like the folks running a post in Europe or the States. Thus, more continuity to support an intramural program. Good for me and other soldiers here more temporarily. This is probably what Victory Base in Iraq will turn into over the next decade or so when we pull most of the combat troops out of Iraq and the security continues to improve.

The DFAC folks again went all out. I don’t know where they get all the butter, but man do they go all out with the sculptures.

The weeks around Christmas were a real bummer. I’m a pretty upbeat guy and I’ve figured out how to survive and even thrive while here, but not being home for the Holidays got to me. The week leading into Christmas and the week between Christmas and New Years were the hardest I’ve had to deal with since I first got here in May. I was pretty down. Angela and the kids sent me a tree and ornaments and my mother-in-law, Olivia, and grandmother-in-law, Louise, sent me lights and some other decorations to put up in my room. I decorated our work area also. That helped a little, though I was glad to get through Christmas and I quickly took everything down.

Angela and her mother took the kids to Orlando and Disney World as a surprise. They were surprised and had a blast! They then drove up to Myrtle Beach to Olivia and Randy’s (father-in-law) house for Christmas. I got to record some messages on Oovoo video for t hem to watch. I read “Twas the Night Before Christmas” for the kids to watch Christmas Eve. I was able to get online for a short time via video conference and watch the kids open presents. I was glad that the link wouldn’t stay up, so I didn’t get to stay on long. Made me too sad. Better to get back to work and get through the day. The blues stayed with me the week after Christmas.

I was wondering what would happen when I got to New Years. New Years is my favorite holiday of the year. I love the idea of a fresh start. I love the idea of setting goals and preparing for a new year. I love the joy and celebration that goes with New Years. I wondered how I would feel being away during my favorite holiday. I was a little bummed out New Years Eve morning, but interestingly enough while watching everyone’s posts on Facebook my spirits started to lift. I started thinking about the New Year. I got to talk to Angela and the kids. I had some nice chats with friends via Facebook and email. I started getting fired up! I celebrated the New Year at the gym. I was actually on the treadmill right at midnight Kuwait time. I had this euphoria that swept over me. I was running full speed into 2010. Right then, while running, I prayed. I thanked God for everything wonderful in my life. I thanked Him for guiding me and I thanked Him for the amazing perspective I’d gained through this experience. I guess a combination of adrenaline and energy just filled me with this amazing euphoria. It was pretty amazing! I began the New Year on a truly high note!

I always write down my goals for the New Year. I always write them down, put them aside, and then many times forget what I wrote. This year I’ve decided to share them with everyone. I hope that by sharing them with my wife and my readers that either this’ll help me remember them or everyone will remind me. J Anyway, here are my ten 2010 goals.

NEW YEARS GOALS 2010

I believe in goals not resolutions. I’ll quote my brother John. “Resolutions are made to be broken. Goals are not.” New Years is one of if not my single favorite holiday. I love the idea of a fresh start. I love the idea of starting fresh. Fresh energy, fresh passion, fresh ideas. So….each year I list my goals. This year is no exception. Here are my 10 goals for 2010 in no particular order of importance.

* Marry my wife…again
* Get promoted to Lieutenant Colonel (LTC)
* Establish or join two local charity organizations
* Step up to the next level in my career
* Continue to improve credit
* Complete mini-triathlon
* Celebrate 40th Birthday with family and friends in June
* Begin traveling to new places on vacations with my family
* Learn to ride a snowboard
* Get fitness/wellness/nutrition certified

I don’t know what 2010 has in store for my family and I. I don’t know what 2010 has in store for our nation and our world. But…..I’m hopeful. I’ve seen such much of what is going on in the world in 2009. I’ve seen the good and bad, but I’ve really seen more good. I’ve seen what treating other respectfully does between Christians, Muslims, Jews, Hindus, etc. I’ve seen that most people in the world want to raise their families and earn a living. I befriended the young Indian man at the DFAC that serves me breakfast every morning. He’s there every single day and when he sees me his face lights up just because I smile and say hello. He’s there every day earning in a month what many of us earn in a week or less. I see the Pakistani men that work for MWR at the gym that smile and come up to shake my hand when they see me, because I always take the time to stop and talk to them to ask them how they’re doing. It’s amazing what happens when we treat each other respectfully. I know there are those extremists out there that just don’t care about a smile and a laugh. I know there are some that are just too far gone, but I think I we isolate them and get the rest of the world behind us that we can make this world a better place.

I’m determined in 2010 to be better than I was in 2009. I’m determined to enjoy every minute, even those I’ve still got here in Kuwait. I’m determined to treat everyone with respect no matter how different our opinions may be. I’m hopeful for a great 2010 and I’m determined to do my part.

So….I’ll start out with my first positive thought of 2010. I’m going to be home in 2010 more days than I am deployed. Hooray! :)

One last thing I’d like to share…..

READING LIST

I haven’t had as much time to read as I’d have liked, but I have made a little dent in the library of books so many wonderful people have sent me. Here’s my list with each book rated 1-5 stars with 5 being the best.

Rating Title Author

***** Travelers Gift Andy Andrews
***** The Shack William Young
**** Lost Symbol Dan Brown
**** The Gathering Storm Branden Sanderson & Robert Jordan
**** A Man After God’s Heart Thomas Nelson
**** What Would Google Do? Jeff Jarvis
**** The Noticer Andy Andrews
**** The American Lion Jon Meacham
*** No Ordinary Time (FDR & Eleanor) Doris Kearns Goodwin
*** When I Relax I Feel Guilty Tim Hansel
*** D-Day: 24 Hrs That Saved the World Time Magazine / Tom Hanks
** The Simple Truth David Balducci
** The Cambridge History of Warfare Geoffrey Parker
** Makers of Modern Strategy Peter Paret
** The Rum Diary Hunter S. Thompson
** The Dynamics of Military Revolution Knox & Murray
** The American Presidents David C. Whitney
* Mongoose Theatre R.W. Meredith
* National Sunday Law A. Jan Marcussen

Some Random Topics

#1. Some of you have asked for an update on what we'd love to have in a care package, and I am your humble servant. :)

- Tootsie Pops
- Tootsie Rolls
- Kit Kats, Hershey Bars, Reece Cups (It's down to the low 100s, so stuff doesn't melt as fast. :)
- Rice Krispie Treats
- Brownies
- Energy Bars
- Peanuts
- Kleenexes
- Tylenol
- iTunes Cards

Again, thank you to all that have sent wonderful care packages. I hope you all don't mind, but I take great joy and sharing the goodies and treasures you send with the soldiers I work with and work around. Share the love!



#2. My wife Angela sent me a copy of The Shack to read. I highly recommend reading this book.

http://theshackbook.com/

I had no idea what to expect, though I did know this was a book about faith. Wow! I have not been taken on a roller coaster like that from a book in a long long time. The last time I remember being emotionally impacted like this was readying Where the Red Fern Grows as a kid and then A Time to Kill by John Grisham in college. I went from shock to terror to anger to fear and then I was pulled up by my emotional boot straps into this amazing sense of love and reconciliation.

William Young grabbed a hold of me using one of my greatest fears and took me on a ride with my faith that I'll never forget. I could barely read last 3-4 chapters from the tears flowing down my face.

Those of you that know me well know that I'm a intellectual believer. I like to understand things and reason through the "hows" and the "whys". I like to think things through. I like to talk things out. I've grown in my faith over the last few years, because I've had opportunities to do this and I've seen the results. I believe. I believe because I want to and I love how faith makes me feel. This book fits people like me perfectly. It really makes you think. It makes you look inside yourself and helps rationalize why faith and love are important...and useful.


I'd highly recommend picking up a copy of The Shaft or ordering the audiobook. (It's available on iTunes. I looked.) Check it out and feel free to share any thoughts on it here. I'd love to hear what other think.


#3. My deployment reading list. I had a lot more opportunities to read prior to getting to Kuwait. The daily 12 hour shifts have really curtailed by reading time, but I've continued to work through a couple of books. Here's what I've read since I mobilized in March.

Title : Author : Notes

The American Lion
Jon Meacham
Biography of Andrew Jackson

A Man After God's Heart
Thomas Nelson
A great book for Dads!

What Would Google Do?
Jeff Jarvis
Comparison of Business Practices

No Ordinary Time
Doris Kearns Goodwin
Biography of FDR and Eleanor

Mongoose Theatre
R.W. Meredith R
etired NCO and One of My Instructors

The Rum Diary
Hunter S. Thompson
Story of a Reporter in Puerto Rico

The Traveler's Gift
Andy Andrews
Positive Thinking / Self Help

The Cambridge History of Warfare
Geoffrey Parker
Reading for ILE

D-Day: 24 Hrs That Changed the World
Time
Coffee Table Book

Dark Wraith of Shannara
Terry Brooks
Fantasy

The Shack
William Young
Fiction: Story About Faith

Events from July into August in Kuwait

Wow! Where has the time gone? The 1st month took forever. The next month it started to speed up a little, but I was still getting my feet under me. 3 ½ months in and time is starting to fly. I can’t believe I’m already into September now. So…..what happened in July and August after the Peachtree Road Race on July 4th?

BATTLE RHYTHM

Some may have seen my posts on Facebook or just in reading this blog have seen where I refer to Battle Rhythm and are wondering what is Battle Rhythm? Think of starting a new job somewhere. You know how you spend the first month getting to know the office, getting to know co-workers, getting to know the job, etc.? It’s the same only we work here 24 hours a day 7 days a week and we’re in a different country. The assimilation into a job actually moves a little faster because of this.

My experience in the Army is in Armor (my original MOS/Branch), Armor and ROTC training operations, and the Signal Corps (my 2nd Branch). I honestly didn’t even know the Army had Space prior to this deployment. So….I’m not only dealing with being deployed overseas for a year, but I’m learning a whole new job in a whole new area. Needless to say, the learning curve has been incredibly steep.

We found out when we got here that our section put in a request for two reservists augmentees to assist with their mission from either the Signal Corps or Intelligence and with Top Secret clearances. They figured they’d had a better chance of getting a couple of smart soldiers this way. HA! The jury is still out. There is not yet a Branch for Space. It’s a functional area (FA), so Space has to pull in people from other Branches and train them in Space. On the clearance issue, Jim and I had Top Secret clearances, but no longer. They’re good for only 5 years. So, we’ve had to reapply since we’ve been here. It takes 3-6 months for the investigation.

So, we’re trying to establish a battle rhythm in a new place, learning a new job, and a new skill. For me, it all seemed to finally come together the beginning of August. That’s when I started to feel comfortable. I finally have a basic understanding of what I’m doing and what I’m supposed to be looking for. I’m a staff officer, so I don’t manage missions and troops. I do a lot of analytics

WORK –OUT RHYTHM

I thought I was doing pretty good working out 4-5 days a week before I got here. I’d improved my run time from 18 minutes for 2 miles to 16 ½ minutes. Little did I know that I wasn’t even close to what I was capable of. I set two goals when I arrived. I wanted to get down to 180 lbs and be able to max my PT test 2 mile rule. 13min 37 sec. Just to give you an idea of where I was starting from. …. I weight myself at 198 lbs in March right before I deployed. I was 192 lbs when I arrived in Kuwait.

I started first just making myself go to the gym every day, no matter what. (I took off 1 day a week to rest my body, usually Sunday.) If I couldn’t make it during lunch, I went on the evening. I cut my meal times down to 30 minutes or less to give myself more time in the gym. I first wanted to get in the habit of going every day. I wanted to get to where I’d feel bad if I didn’t get to the gym. That took about ½ a month to settle in. I then had to develop my routine.

You’ve seen in previous posts what I did with diet and work-out plan. The first month I saw results in my body hardening, but little weight drop. I weighed in at the end of June at 189 lbs. My run improved, but not a ton. I figured at this time it’d take me 3-4 months to really start seeing results. Wow! Was I off! It was like a switch went off right at the end of July. I started to fly on my run. I could see my body start to change. I kept having to cinch my belt tighter. Now, my rule was that I would only weigh myself once a month. I wanted to develop a routine, a rhythm. I didn’t want to be chasing a weight every day. Good plan! J I stepped on the scale at the end of July and weighed in at 183 lbs. I’d gotten my 2 mile run down to 13.45 for 2 miles. I’m already almost at my max time. I’m ahead of schedule.

August was where I really started to turn. I was settled into my work-out rhythm. I could feel my body changing every day. I could feel myself getting stronger. The MWR folks helped out but introducing a new short term program. They challenged us to Swim the English Channel. The shortest distance across the English Channel is from near Dover, England to Calais, France, a distance of 21.06 miles. That translates into 808 laps in the Camp Arifjan pool. The program started on August 12th. The incentive was a nice blue t-shirt and pride. Now, I thought I was a pretty good swimmer. At the beginning of August, I was swimming 18 laps a couple of times a week. HA! A mile was 38 laps! I had no idea what I was getting into. I was determined to keep up my regular work-out routine, so I’d do my normal work-out 4 days a week and swim the other 3 days or in the evenings.

Talk about watching the fat bleed off of your body. I’m wearing myself out, but I’m watching the change happen weekly. By the end of August, I could run 2 miles in less than 12.30. I can swim just short of 50 laps in an hour. The last week of August, 1st week of September, I was working out 1+ hour a day during lunch and swimming a mile every evening, so I could get done. My Space compadre, MAJ Corey Gerving, finished his swim on August 30th. I finished my on Labor Day (how appropriate right). I stepped on the scale at the end of the month last week, as is my rule, and weighed in at 178 pounds in my clothes.

REFEREE

Many of you know I referee basketball. For those of you that didn’t, I’ve worked up to high school men’s state tournament level and men’s junior college. I love basketball. I love the release I get out on the court. I was just starting to really start moving up the ranks when I got the call to deploy. I was really disappointed to have to take the year off. “Not so fast my friends”…. Camp Arifjan has a pretty robust recreation program, similar to that of a small college. I noticed the flyer one day and went to the Recreation Director to introduce myself. I found out there was a basketball tournament on the 4th of July weekend and I signed right up. I had Angela quickly ship me my gear. It was great to get back on the court! I found this also to be a great way to network on post and get to know more people. I followed up right after than into volleyball. I hadn’t done that since the University of Kentucky, but it was like riding a bike. I was lucky enough to get the championship game. I’m doing another basketball tournament through Labor Day, then flag football, and then back to the regular season for basketball during the winter. It all takes up some of the small amount of personal time I have each day, but it’s what I love. I won’t be as far behind as I’d thought for the 2010-11 season.

G31 SPACE SECTION

Now that I’ve been here 3+ months, I can talk more about the folks in my section. I’ve gotten to know them a lot better.

COL Henderson: He’s the Chief of Space and our top dog. He works in Atlanta, but has been forward for one exercise in June and now another exercise in August. He’s really tall and loves to tell jokes and stories. He keeps us going. He’s a big time horse enthusiast.

LTC Zellmann: He’s the Deputy Chief of Space and my direct supervisor. He worked as a physics instructor at West Point. He’s super sharp and tireless. He’s an absolute machine at work. He works out of Atlanta. He’s also been through for both exercises. He’s easy to talk to and doesn’t miss a thing.

MAJ Speth: Phil’s the Space officer Jim and I replaced. He’s gone back to Atlanta and he’s the lead for Space training. Phil’s one of those real attention to detail kind of officers. His work is tight. I got to know him pretty well when he was here with all the trips to Ali Al Saleem. He knows Army doctrine inside and out having worked in TRADOC.

MAJ Gerving: Corey’s been here since May, but I didn’t really start to get to know him until after the LW exercise at the beginning of June. He’s our Senior Space Officer forward. He’s here until November. He also taught physics at West Point. Super sharp, and he uses that brain power to remember everything, to include quotes from every movie he’s ever seen. Work-out partner and movie watching partner.

MAJ Kimbrell: Larry I probably know the least about. He’s been here a couple of times for the first exercise and the first week of July to fill in for Corey who went back to Atlanta for a short while for a conference. He came to Army Space from the Air Force’s missile program. He’s coming in October to replace Corey. Looking forward to getting to know him better.

SSG Holscher: The one and only NCO in our section. He’s a Signal guy (like Jim and I) specializing in SATCOM. Another super smart guy. He’s getting out of the Army in November. He’s at his 8 years. He’s already got multiple job offers. (Really good job offers) He works in Atlanta, but has been forward a couple of times now.

MAJ Jim Schultz: He’s my partner in current operations. I work the day shift right now and Jim works the night shift. We’ve been in the same place since the very first day. We mobilized at Camp McCrady on the same day and we’ve been together ever since. He’s an Arizona police officer in the “real world”. He’s married with two children.

That’s the crew! (We have a contractor in our section named Crawford Brown who I’ve only met once. I don’t know him, so I’ve got no info.) If you’d like to get to know Phil Speth, Corey Gerving, Jim Schultz, or Daniel Holscher better, they’ve got Facebook accounts. Go bug them there.

Basically a bunch of really, really smart guys. I mostly just keep my mouth shut and ears open. I’m absorbing from them everything I can as quick as I can.

COLD/H1N1

This is a big deal in the states and a really big deal in the military. Soldiers with flu symptoms are isolated, just like we do with the kids keeping them home from school. This is a major impact to operations, so as you can imagine, the top brass are really concentrating on it. I picked up what felt like a sinus infection at the beginning of August. It was concerning only because it weakened me and I did not want to pick up the flu virus. My partner Jim when down with what he originally thought was th flu for a week, but it ended up only being a sinus infection. I was concern with what was dragging on me, so I went to the TMC (medical center). I had not fever so flu got ruled out up front. So…I thought I had a regular bacterial sinus infection. The Doc said no that is was viral. Basically a cold. He prescribed Sudafed and rest. (Not much of a chance of rest. I can’t miss work or my work-out!) I wanted anti-biotic, but he wouldn’t give them to me. He said let it run its course and come back if it didn’t go away. I did not miss a day of work or a work-out, but it didn’t go away. I was still concerned because it continued to weaken me, especially at the end of the week. Two weeks later, I went back to the TMC. I got a different Doctor. He took one look at me and said….allergies. I hadn’t even thought about that. I had really bad allergy problems in Atlanta, but most of the problems went away when I moved to Florida. Good salt air! His first thing he said after examining me was that he wanted to treat this aggressively. Yeehaah! He gave me Flonase and Allegra for two months and said to come see him after that. Do you know that it started working after just 48 hours! Amazing! Apparently all the crap blowing out of Iraq through the desert into Kuwait was what was kicking my behind. I’m feeling great and I’m picking it up at work and at the gym!

TRIP TO KCIA

We don’t leave Camp Arifjan very often. We just don’t have the need to. However, every now and then we take a trip to Ali Al Saleem AFB or Kuwait International Airport (KCIA) when someone coming in needs a pick-up. I’d not had an opportunity to go to KCIA until this August. I’d only made the trip to Ali Al Saleem and Camp Buehring. I got my chance with the guys coming into Kuwait for the Lucky Strike exercise. SSG Holscher had come in with the lead element and he and I went to pick up LTC Zellmenn at KCIA. We had to change into civilian clothes, and due to a new policy that had just come out that week.

This trip was my first experience into Kuwaiti culture. First, I took a wrong turn and we ended up in a Kuwaiti neighborhood. It was what I would classify as a middle class neighborhood. Townhomes in a cul-de-sac community. They had swing sets. They had picnic tables. The cars were like any you’d see in a middle class American neighborhood. Really, the only difference was the architecture. All concrete with this sand colored stucco like finish. The second experience was in the airport itself. We didn’t want to go through a search upon running to Camp Arifjan, so I stayed with the vehicle while SSG Holscher went in to pick-up LTC Z. It was like any other bustling airport I’d ever been at only half the people coming and going wore the traditional white Arabic robes (men & boys) or the head to toe black burqa (women). Kids were still kids. They were excited and full of energy. Dads and Moms were just like us trying to keep them in tow while trying to get wherever they were going. There were the sprinklings of Europeans, American, or Middle Easterners not dressed in traditional Arabic outfits. It’s the first time I’d been in this country and actually felt like I was in a country with normal people rather than the isolated world that is a military post overseas.

LTC Z’s flight was late coming in and I had to take a leak so we switched. I got to check out the terminal. Everything was in Arabic…and English! Very interesting. The terminal was actually much cleaner and better organized than the ones I’d been to in Costa Rica, Mexico, and Turks & Caicos. We were both hungry, so we took advantage and grabbed some KFC. First KFC I’d had since early spring! (We just had to figure out how much change we’d gotten because it was all in Kuwaiti Dinars.

KIDS START SCHOOL

Audrey and Trey started 1st Grade on August 24th. I was so excited for them, but sad that I couldn’t be there to see them off. They’d had a great summer, but I know they were excited to. They love school. They love meeting people and making friends. They’re so not like me when I was a kid. J They got Ms. Patridge as their teacher. Angela sent me a picture from her camera phone right in front of school. I of course posted it right to Facebook. I’m so proud of them. Hard to believe that by the time I make it home for good they’ll be 7 years old and almost finished with 1st Grade.

LEAVE IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER!

OK, that brings me to here. It’s Monday, September 7th – Labor Day. I’m 191 days into the deployment (9 days short of halfway) and I’ve had 111 days “Boots on the Ground”. I’m scheduled for 15 days of leave at the end of this month. I cannot wait! I’m planning on resting, going camping with the kids, and going with my sweetie on a cruise. Man, I’m ready. I’m settled in here and in a rhythm, but no rhythm can get you over missing your loved ones. I can’t wait to take them into my arms!

The next couple of weeks were just dedicated to settling in. Imagine picking up your entire life, packing it into 4 suitcases, moving to a foreign country, and living out of those 4 suitcases while trying to learn a new job. Oh, and no runs down to the local pub to blow off steam. It makes every day interesting. It really, really sucks living in an open bay barracks with no idea when I’m getting permanent housing. It’s not so much the open bay, but the fact that I could be moving any day, so I can’t unpack. I can’t put up the drawings done by my kids or leave out my computer. Everything has to be tucked away each day I leave for work. Also, lights are only on from 1700-2200. A lot of people work shifts, so you’ve got to be quiet and respectful.

Now, the really interesting adventure in the barracks had to do with post housing deciding to “upgrade” our bay. A couple of the many bays in our building, the “I” building, have these cubicle types of partitions that separate each set of bunks. Essentially, every two people get a little private area in the bay. They decided to install these partitions in our bay. For the better part of 3 days, they installed them. Most of the time in the afternoon, but Sunday they decided to start about 0800. I’m glad I was already getting up to go to church! When they started on Friday, I noticed this odor and my eyes would burn when I lay down in my bunk. I was exhausted and the sand was blowing around, so I just crashed and didn’t think anything about it on Friday and Saturday. By Sunday, it was really starting to bother me. I spoke with a couple of the other guys in the bay and they said the same thing. One guy said it felt like CS burning. I went to the housing office and reported it that afternoon. They had the fire department come through soon after that. They walked through the building and then left. Guess what they decided to do? They pulled the fire alarm around 2130 hours, right before I was getting ready to crash. I wasn’t thinking, and I threw on some shorts and my flip flops. I stood outside for about an hour and watched the fire fighters go through the building. They taped off a perimeter. A few more “official looking” people came in. I went over to the gym and watched the NASCAR race with some other soldiers. About midnight, they decided they weren’t going to clear the building for reentry until the entry until morning, and everyone needed to go across post and stay in the tent housing. I was in a t-shirt and flip flops. I got luck and I ran into CW4 Kono. He works right behind me in the command center. He had a car and drove me over to the tents. He gave me a pillow, sheets, and blanket, which was a god send. I crashed in these open tents in a bunk with the lights on. I think I slept about 3-4 fitful hours with all the other folks coming in and out. Chief Kono had agreed to pick me up at 0900. I had nothing to take a shower with or even brush my teeth. I obviously called into work and told them I’d be a little late for my shift. Chief picked me up and took me back over to my building. They still had it closed. They let me go in to get shower supplies and my uniform, but I had to go over to the gym to shower. The “experts” were in our bay testing the air. In fact, they were right next to my bunk. Apparently, I was at the epicenter. They about 10 people running around trying to figure it out. I stood there as I gather up my stuff and told them the problem had started when they installed the partitions. It was like light bulbs started going off everywhere. Man…I could have told them the night before. They let everyone back in the building about an hour later, except for those of us in that bay. We had to gather up all our gear and move. Pain in the ass! I finally got over to work about noon.

I got to take a 3rd trip off post to Ali Al Salem Air Base. Phil Speth and I went to meet up with the guys coming back from the Space Conference. They’d left all their gear at Camp Arifjan while then went to Qatar to the conference. We took all the stuff up to Ali Al Salem to synch up before they headed back to Atlanta. We had quite an adventure going from the Army side of Ali Al Salem to the Air Force side and back to the Army Side. It’s all the same air base, but you’ve got to go on and off and through check points each time. The Army side didn’t like the stamp the Air Force side had put on our secure to secure paperwork and we had sit around for a “higher up” to decide that one Colonel, one Lieutenant Colonel, and 4 Majors that had just been at the Air Force part of the post 5 minutes earlier weren’t a threat. Typical military security snafus. The crew we were transporting was COL Henderson, the ARCENT Chief of Space, LTC Zellmann, the Deputy (and my boss), MAJ Kimbrell, ARCENT Space Ops, and MAJ Gardner, 1st Space BDE reservist here for the exercise and conference. All stuffed into an SUV with Phil Speth and myself. Needless to say it was interesting. COL Henderson has a quick wit and he had all of laughing while packed into the car like sardines. It was a pretty funny site. Phil and I dropped them off and headed back to Camp Arifjan. We got back around 11.00pm.

I’m starting to settle in more. The job is getting easier. I’ve developed a schedule for each day. The work-out and new diet is starting to work. I refuse to step on a scale, because I don’t believe in weight watching. I like to set goals and go after them. I’d rather just check myself once a month to see how I’m doing and not every day. My goal is to get in great shape and get my weight down below 180. I realized early here that they feed us to well. It’s way too easy to feed your face at the DFAC (chow hall) each day. I stop the TCNs (Third Country Nationals) who work at the DFAC from giving me the normal portions. I try to just get half portions. It took me a month or so to figure out what was available at the DFAC, but I’ve got a system down.

Here’s my typical weekly diet.

Concentration on the Following….
- Protein
- Low Carbs
- Fruit
- Smaller Portions

Breakfast
Scrambled Eggs, Omelet or Boiled Eggs
Hash Brown
Bacon, Ham or Sausage
3-4 Pieces of Fruit (Cantaloupe, Honey Dew Melon, Watermelon, Strawberries)
Gatorade

Snack
Peanuts or Nutra Grain Bar

Lunch
Tuna Salad, Egg Salad, Chicken Salad or Deli Sandwich or Taco Salad
Chips or Noodles
Jell-O or Pudding
Gatorade

Snack
Piece of Fruit

Dinner
Meat, Fish or Wrap
Vegetable
Salad
Pudding or Pie

Tea or Soda

Camp Arifjan is divided into multiple zones. There does not look like they have zones for any organizational purpose, but rather just added to them according to need. I currently live in Zone 1 in the “I” Building. I work in Zone 2 in Bldg 505. I hope to move to permanent housing in Bldg 507, right around the corner from my work soon. There is a DFAC in Zone 1 called The Oasis. It’s run by the Kuwaitis. There’s a DFAC in Zone 2 run by us. Zone 2’s DFAC is much better! The Oasis is nicer and you get to eat with real silverware, but the food is nowhere near as good. The Zone 2 DFAC is in trailers rather than a permanent building and you eat with plastic silverware (not good for always over cooked steaks), but the food quality and selection is so much better. Also, Zone 1 is where the movie theater, big PX, and gyms are. There’s a Zone 6 where the tent city is located for more temporary personnel and it has the biggest PX. I don’t venture down there yet. I’m still figuring out Zone 1 and Zone 2.

When or if I ever get a room, I’ll probably become just a Zone 2 person. I got a bike from MWR. I figure a bike will be good to ride to and from Zones to work-out and to go to the movies. It’s a pretty nice mountain bike. You sign them out. You just have to take them back one a month for maintenance and cleaning. They give you a helmet, lock, and lights on the bike for night ridding. I’ve not ridden a bike for years!

Father’s Day came and went. It was sort of a sad day, because I wasn’t with my kids, but I got to talk to them and Ang. I’ve realized that I’ve got to steel myself. I’m here and I’m not going home till September or leave. It’s part of what soldiers go through. You can’t let the separation get you down. You have to develop a rhythm, a daily system so that you can click the days off. You can’t dwell on what you don’t have. You have to concentrate on doing the job and moving on to the next day. I’m starting to settle in. I can feel myself hardening emotionally. I don’t like it, but I know it’s necessary. I’ve been through separation with the military, but never anything quite like this. This is really something new for me, and I’ve realized something new for Ang and the kids. We’re all cooping. For now, I’m really concentrating on my rhythm, so I can settle in and Ang won’t worry about me. That’s really the takeaway from my Father’s Day. Perspective….being away from family and friends on important holidays really helps you to appreciate better what you have.

The two big events (to me) for the months of June/July are my birthday on June 27th and the Kuwait version of the Peachtree Road Race. My birthday was no big deal to everyone else here, but it’s huge to me. The weekend of the 26th, 27th, and 28th was supposed to be the big weekend for my 40th birthday party down in Destin. I’d been planning the thing for about 5 months when I’d gotten orders to deploy. Postponed! Not cancelled! However, it was kind of a bummer to finally get to this date, and here I was in wonderfully hot Kuwait with no cocktails surrounded by people I barely knew. The nice thing was so many people back home reached out to me. I got tons of birthday wishes from friends on Facebook and Plaxo. I get birthday wishes via email and cards. I got some really nice packages from my family. Thank you to all of you. It made it all a little bit easier. I’m 40 years old now! (I did get to meet Wee Man of Jackass fame. Picture above. He signed my picture wishing me Happy Birthday. :)

Anyway, back to the run. The race is scheduled for 0500 on July 4th. I ran a 5K the weekend before my birthday and did pretty well. I’m definitely getting better. I found out that our Deputy Commanding General (DCG) is a big runner. MAJ Corey Gerving is the Senior Space Ops officer that is replacing MAJ Phil Speth. We’ve been getting to know each other. We were talking about the DCG at the morning shift change brief one morning being such a good runner. I told Corey I was running in the 10K race. He bet me a pizza I couldn’t beat the DCG in the 10K. Now, I’m 40 years old. The DCG is 51 years old. But….he works out like a fiend every day! Surely I can beat him right?

The day of the race came. There are a couple of significant things to report before I talk about the race. First, when I signed up for the race on the 23rd of June, I was given number 40 as the 40th person to sign up. How random is that? I then found out the morning of the race that this was the 40th running of the Peachtree Road Race. Now, this race in Kuwait is actually officially a part of the race in Atlanta. We’re timed group #12 and our results are sent back to Atlanta to include with theirs. Anyway, how about that for a sign! 40, 40, 40. I’m no Jose Canseco or Barry Bonds, but I’m part of my own 40-40-40 club! I can only see this as a sign that somebody wanted me here! J One more event that played into this weekend. I got my room assignment on Wed. I moved all afternoon and evening on Thursday. This was significant, because I actually got a good night’s sleep on Friday night before the race! My roommate is no here on Camp Arifjan. I’m not sure where he is, but I’m not complaining. I’ve got a room to myself right now.

On to the race….nice set-up, much like the one in Atlanta. Lots of energy and enthusiasm. They had music blasting and tones of volunteers. My unit, USARCENT, is based in Atlanta, so we’ve got a lot of people that are familiar with this race. The only thing really missing were the Atlanteans along the road handing out beer! There actually were some runners that dressed in costume just like they do in Atlanta. Anyway, the gun went off and there we went. I started out pretty fast, but the DCG took off like a rocket. I thought to myself “Oh Crap!”. He was fast, and I couldn’t keep up. My goal was to try to run in 48 minutes or less, so I just settled into my pace and let the race happen how it was going to happen. I did really well for the first 3-4 miles (5Ks). I was on pace. But…I started to tire. I started falling off pace by 10-20 sec for KS 6,7,8. However, much to my surprise, the DCG started slowing down more. I began to reel him in. I caught and passed him at 7 Ks. Now I just wanted to stay focused and get as close to my goals as I could. I knew I wasn’t going to get 48 min, but maybe I could make up some seconds at the end. I did have some energy left (a little) and picked up the pace over the last K. I ran it as fast as I’d run the first. I finished the race in 51 minutes flat. I beat the DCG by almost a minute. I was very pleased. I ran pretty well, and now I have a baseline to work up from. J (Though the race did whip my behind. I was a wet noodle at work that day.)

This pretty much sums up June and the beginning of July. I’ll check in again soon!